Original Post | March 2016
In 2016, we still have conversations about what defines a woman. It seems that no matter how much progress we make and how much we show the vastness of our complexities and capabilities, there still remains a supreme archetype of womanhood and femininity which the greater society wants us to subscribe to.
We are told to uphold our historic expectation of modesty, yet we’re in a time when beauty and sexuality has afforded many of our millennial sisters to become 6-figure plus earners and socialites. Somewhere in the midst of all the femininity-propaganda, we’re constantly bombarded with articles, relationship coaches, and male relationship experts that emphasize what type of feminine traits can successfully attract and keep a relationship going. If we don’t fit in those molds, we’re then called alpha-females and deemed “unmarriable.” We’re told to go to school, and circumstantially rack up debt, but when a woman says she wants a partner to take care of or make substantially more than her, she’s deemed a gold digger.
But it’s not only the messages that bombard us. Oh no. Opinions are everywhere. Everyone has an opinion, and they want to make sure you know it! Thanks to the evolution of social media, every blog and media outlet integrates a comment section. The comment section is how you can really get insight on the human psyche nowadays. If you want to learn what people think about anything, always look at the comment section! While women are raising their voices around rape culture, slut shaming, rights to public breastfeeding, and living rather unconventional lives, there are people attacking (mostly men) attacking these ideas and lifestyles that challenge normative views.
In 2016, it can be tough to be a woman if you’re not strong enough in yourself. I know some of these pressures plague me and my girlfriends. We talk about our dreams, desires, aspirations and all the ways we feel that we awkwardly don’t fit the mold at either end of the spectrum of what we “should” be.
In 2016, shouldn’t we have the social right to choose whatever path we want without it meaning that our womanhood is threatened? I’ve literally had a man tell me I didn’t know how to be a woman…wait what? Hello??? Are you serious? I can be honest and admit, it made me look left, right, up, down and within, but I came to one supreme truth: I am Enough, now and forever.
Whatever part of your being you may be struggling to come to terms with, just take a step back, reflect, and take into consideration all that you are. Stop focusing on what you’re not and what society or anyone around you is telling you to be. One of my favorite reminders of self-love and authentic embrace comes from author Audre Lorde, “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
Tiffany A. Wright, MSW | Author & Life Coach
Uplift #Herstory Contributor | Week 1
Tiffany Wright is a self-love ambassador, author, speaker, and life enhancement specialist who seeks to empower and uplift women through a message of self-love. She is the founder of the brand The BE Life, which was launched in 2013 as a blog and evolved into a platform for events and workshops for teen and adult women, with an up and coming inspirational product line which will include empowering tees and journals. Tiffany's message is centered around what she calls the 5 Commandments of Self-Love, which is what her 2014 self-love devotional book, BE Love: Daily Intentions Guiding You to Self Love. is based off of.